The Friendship Controller: Peer Pressure

Written by Lee, Grade 9 

Toronto, Ontario

Have you ever felt pressured by friends to do something for the better or for the worse? This feeling of pressure from friends is called peer pressure. This is when friends pressure you into a decision. There are two types of peer pressure: positive peer pressure and negative peer pressure.


Negative peer pressure is a common thing. Maybe your friends are pressuring you into riding a roller coaster you get sick on. A common form of negative peer pressure is bullying. Cyber bullying and mentally bullying are the two kinds of common negative peer pressure in bullying. Mentally bullying is using words against others to harm them mentally to feel bad about themselves. An example is from a guest speaker at LGT’s Peer Pressure Webinar event, Karim. As a kid in elementary school he experienced negative peer pressure from his classmates for being reluctant to join activities. Years later he realized he was teased as a tool of their amusement. An example of mentally bullying causing negative peer pressure is if your friends start calling you names because you won't smoke with them in the school washroom.


The other kind of peer pressure is cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is using social media to purposefully harm someone and make them feel bad about themselves. An example is if you have friends that start videotaping you sobbing from fear on a rollercoaster you hate and they post it on Instagram. Also, if you have close friends of yours that liked that video of you sobbing on the roller coaster and posted hurtful comments, that is negative peer pressure. The pressure from your friends showing people how scared you are and insulting you on social media can pressure you into riding that roller coaster again. This kind of cyberbullying can break friendships.


Ways to deal with these negative peer pressures is to say no. You can walk away from friends who call you names. I know it's hard to break friendships, but they aren’t your real friends if they don’t accept you as who you are. Real friends always have each other's backs and don’t make fun of a personal issue. Another way to deal with these peer pressure issues is to give an excuse to buy you more time to think about your decision. When deciding with peer pressure you have to think how it will affect your well-being and your family. In peer pressure situations you have to weigh out the positives and the negatives.


Some reasons people have a hard time dealing with negative peer pressure is because they have low confidence and are very shy, so they want to show others they can be confident. Another reason they might suffer from negative peer pressure is because they get teased for how they look. People who are sensitive about their appearance shouldn’t let others decide if they look funny, even if they’re friends. An example I have is one of our guest speakers Karim, who was very sensitive about his weight in high school and was reluctant to join clubs because he was afraid to be made fun of for his weight.


Negative peer pressure impacts many youth and sometimes adults. In this blog, I have talked about negative peer pressure and gone over ways to deal with some of these situations. Stay tuned for my next blog about the other side; positive peer pressure.